My Baby

Here i sit..thinkin bout tha day i brought her home, her first bath, her first trick. So many things that she had done to get in trouble yet so many ways she brought so much joy to my life. My running partner, my bed buddy, my baby. You don't know about lonely, till you've had something so precious and so sweet to just get taken away so quickly. Maybe i should've loved her better or praised her more. She was all I had and now she's gone, and i'm alone again. Maddie, my sweet baby, I loved you so much from day one...you brought so much joy and happiness to my life...you were beautiful and smart and so caring...thank you for being my sunshine...i love and miss you more than you will ever know....

The Strength of the Lonely

The days grow long, and the nights even longer
While trying to smile, my thoughts are so somber
For the joy is gone, and the love is lost
Trying to make it work is not worth the cost

So i go on and live with the pain
And try to remember the good times again
My memory struggles and my smile grows dim
Still wishing things were like they were back then

In God i will trust and ever lean on
For He is my strength, and His will be done
He plans out my journey, and all of my steps
It will be in His arms that i will take my rest

The Father in Heaven is the strength of the lonely
Comfort and peace come from Him only
So i will keep trusting, and traveling on
For while on this journey, im never alone...

Not sure what to write about tonight... Guess I should start with how thankful I am for all of my many many blessings. So undeserving am I, yet God in all His mercy still showers me with His grace and unconditional love. I am living this life to the best of my ability, yet somehow I feel like I'm not where I need to be. I am still searching for my purpose on this earth and hoping I will find it soon. I feel like I have really let some people down along with my Lord. I am more than willing to try harder and bridge gaps and fix holes that I have created in my life. Prayer is a powerful thing, it can change everything. My prayer is my strength. I hope when it is all said and done, my Lord will be satisfied...

Sorry

I'm sorry for not doing and saying the right things.
I'm sorry that I can't be what everyone wants me to be.
I'm sorry that I let it all fall apart.
I should've tried harder.
I should've been there more.
Now I'm standing here wishing that I could go back.
I'm wishing with all my being I could fix it.
I can tell myself it's not fair and that it's not right, but God's will is perfect;no one can dispute that.
Yea, I'm sorry...I know that's not enough...I just miss all of it...
Yet the memories that were made are more precious than I can ever explain.
Thankful for the steps in my journey...

To chose the road less traveled...

How often we must bear the challenges of life;
The endless roller coaster between happiness and sorrow;
The constant ups and downs of daily strife.
And always the question remains .... why?
Life is not an easy road for most;
It twists and turns with many forks in the road,
Although always, and inevitably, we are given a choice ...
Do we turn to the right ... or the left?
Do we take the high road ... or the low road?
Do we take the easy path ... or the difficult one?
Decisions are not easy for those struggling for direction
...And sometimes the many choices and signs become overwhelming.
While standing at a crossroads in life,
The urge is to take the most comfortable path;
The road with least resistance ...
The shortest or most traveled route.
And yet, if we've been down that comfortable road before;
Have gleaned its lessons in life, and learned from our experiences;
Do we yet again follow the known?
Or does our destiny lie in another direction?
The fear of the road less traveled is tangible and all too real;
It manifests itself in many ways,
And tends to cloud the issues that might otherwise be clear.
It is in these times of confusion,That we must seek peace and solitude;
Time to contemplate on our life,
Our experiences and our choices past;
Time to look back, and reflect on what we have learned without fear or confusion.
For only each of us knows our own personal thoughts;Our unique past and personal history;
The experiences that brought us to the crossroads we now face.
We can always learn a small degree from others experiences,
And yet ... no one person can walk in our shoes,Others know not, the trials and tribulations faced in private ...For each is individual ... unique ... and personal.
And that is why ... while standing at a crossroads,Only "we" can formulate the decision for ourselves;The true direction that lies within;
The choices we must deliberate on with clarity and wisdom.
For it is only through personal reflection,That we can now choose our destiny;...
Our next adventure;... And the future we will embrace.

Changing of the Season...

As the season change from hot to cold
And I watch the leaves change their clothes
From green, to brown, from red to gold
They never seem to change their souls.
They remain humble even as they grow old,
They also hold on------
To their spirits as they dance in the wind,
Even though its man's cruelty in which they must contend.
And they cannot pretend to be uncaring,
And during their fruit bearing-------season,
They provide shade to people, but for no other reason,
Then they are rooted to the Earth,
And they are grown and know at their birth,
That they must put people first.
These trees are humble, Meek, Sleek,
And I stare in disbelief as they smile and swagger in the wind.
They stand firm even as their leaves begin, to fall aimlessly,
Unto the concrete.
Their strong enough to withstand the rain,
The snow, And the sleet,
But of course this is what the trees mean to me. T
heir never out for the fame, Nor the glory,
But in their trunks and branches you can tell their story.

It's here

Fall is slowly creeping up on us.
Our long warm evenings are surely turning cool and crisp. Our shorts and t-shirts are being replaced by sweats and jeans. The leaves are starting there amazingly beautiful transformation into colors that can't be expressed by human words. This change in the seasons brings about a new time in this year of our lives. This to me is a time of reflection on the summer. A time to slow down a little and enjoy the harvest and the change. As God turns the hands of time forward we must enjoy every day that we are graciously allowed to experience. For it's only a short while that we have here, so we dare not take this breathtaking transformation for granted, not even for a second.